Boot Camp for New Dads

I am writing this from a cozy little guest house in Denver, CO USA while I participate in Master Coach training for an innovative program called "Boot Camp for New Dads". This is a "dads only", prenatal program, where no ladies over 2ft tall are allowed! I have partnered with Birth Rhythms Pregnancy and Parenting Health Centre to bring this great program back to Saskatoon, SK (and the first in Canada) and am more than exited to get things going with it! Although nothing has been finalized, I am looking at possibly kicking off #bootcamp4newdadsSK on Father's day weekend with a "tail gate party". Follow my blog, or @homebirthdadBP for details. Boot camp for new dads gives expectant dads (rookies) a firsthand look at fatherhood by putting them in a room with current dads (veterans) and their babies. The facilitator or coach (me), guides the discussion and acts as a time keeper, while the little babies (teachers) and veterans, share their experiencees with the rookies. This program will be the first of its kind to come to Saskatchewan, and the first to be tailored specifically to men. I am really looking forward to getting things going in Saskatoon, and helping new dads be the best that they can be to the greatest gift of all! Thanks for reading! I look forward to keeping you updated on our program and other things in the great world of fatherhood. Take care everyone. Family first, B

Happy Birthday Little Man

Approximately 2 years and 2 hours ago, my wife and I welcomed our little boy into our lives. We had a beautiful home birth on that day two year's ago, and he arrived as perfect as can be into our little house. 


To say time has flown by would be an understatement. I really cannot believe that he is two already, chatting up a storm daily, discovering new things, taking new adventures with him, pushing his limits with us. These little things make us love him even more, and we really couldn't imagine life without him. 


Today, he is going to spend some time with his momma, and then afterwork we are going to throw a little soirée for him and BBQ (in the rain, in true Saskatchewan fashion!), have an ice-cream cake and play with his new toys!  


Here's a letter I wrote today for Otys:


25 April 2012


Dear Otys,


Two years ago, I became daddy to the best little guy ever. The journey we have been on together so far, has been so life changing for me. Each day, while you are learning new things, you are teaching your daddy new things. Your first year, you learned how to sit, how to hold your head, focus your eyes, grasp things, stand and walk, to name a few. Your second year has been so much more. You and I have encountered so many things together. I have heard you say "dada" for the first time, watched your face when you tried solid foods for the first time, held you when you fell while learning to climb the stairs, played many games of cars and soccer with you, watched so much treehouse tv I can recite all of the theme songs before they even start, and so much more.


Little boy, each day is a journey with you that I am so glad I get to be on and watch you learn the things you learn. You teach me how to be a better man and a better daddy for you and MIss E, how to be more patient and understanding, and how to help you learn the things you need to learn. I am so looking forward to what this next year, and the years to come, will bring that I can't even put it into words. It doesn't matter how old you are, you'll always be my little guy. 


I hope you have a great birthday today buddy. Even though it seems like we have done so much already together, we have just started to open the many doors of adventure that are out there. We won't get to open them all, but we will have fun opening the one's we can.


Have a good 2nd birthday little buddy. 


Love,
Daddy
---
Trust birth and put your family first,
B

A Boy and His Dog

I was raised with an animal in my home from as far back as I can remember, so it was without question that animals would be a part of the lives of my children. They teach you friendship, loyalty, trust, love, guidance and are a great companion. Such is true for the O-man and our loyal boxer, Balsym. Our dogs were in the house when our kids were born, and were two of the first to meet O-man and Baby Girl E. The bond that Balsym has with O-man right now is unbreakable, and although he gets under her skin sometimes, he is her best friend. For those of you who know about the personality of a Boxer, they are often called clown dogs. Playful until the day they pass, turning a sock into a fun game of chase, and an egg carton into whirlwind of a mess, Balsym the boxer is a perfect match to her mischievous little buddy, O-man.


As I have shared with you, the O-man is learning so much, and turning into such a little boy. He notices so much, puts his words into 4 letter sentences, understands more and more each day and is always on the ready for a "ugg" (hug) or a "kiss". 


Well, today as J gets things ready for not only our fundraiser tonight, but our road-trip (the first one with the Baby Girl), she took the kids to drop of Balsym at our trusted "doggie hotel", Paws Awhile in Saskatoon. This is routine for us when we go on trips. Balsym needs about as much attention as our two kids, so to be fair to her and the people we are visiting (this time, my inlaws), we leave her in the good hands of the staff at Paws Awhile. Today, was a little different for J however. I received a phone call that my little boy was a little sad after the drop off. He went in with his mom to leave Balsym, and when the staff person took her away, started screaming "Balsym, no. Come Balsym!", and he cried. This left the staff person feeling miserable, and our B-girl wanting to stay with her buddy.


In the end, the O-man got better and Balsym went to the doggie hotel. As you can probably attest if you have an animal, they truly become a part of your family. When they have the opportunity to grow with your children like Balsym and Maaia have, they become a furry sibling. This big girl has a heart of gold, and truly loves everyone she meets. Her buddy O will be delighted when we pick her up on Monday, and the whole family will be back together again!


Sending peace and love this holiday season. Safe travels and enjoy the memories with your families, wherever you are this season!


Trust birth, and put your family first.


B

Word of Wednesday with the O-man!

Happy Wednesday everyone! Two more work days, and it is officially the Easter season. A time for peace and reflection, and to enjoy the most precious gifts of all, our children and families.

This weeks word comes at a time when families are preparing for the Easter feast, or getting ready to hide treats from the Easter Bunny for the little ones. It is a word we all use quite frequently, and one that my son figured out some time ago, to my astonishment. As you know, I am quite intrigued by toddler-speak. The words they pick up, the cute and garbled sentences toddlers put together, their parrot-like reflexes on words that they shouldn't no, nor say! Each day, my wife and I learn something new through the O-man's language and grow ever more proud of the little boy he is growing into. His favourite thing to do is eat, so I thought that because of this, and because of Easter festivities approaching this word would be a great addition to this weekly post. Here it is:

O-man - "lishus"

Adult translation - "de-licious"

What crazy word does your little one say?

From my family to yours, I wish you a very peaceful and relaxing Easter break.

Trust birth, and put your family first.

B

The Word of Wednesday with the O-man

I thought a way to help me post regularly would be to have daily/weekly topics to share with you all. The posts thus may not be as long as you are used to, but nonetheless, I hope you will enjoy them. The Fatherhood adventure is such an amazing one, that it is hard to put into words. In the two years (almost) he has been with us, the little O-man has taught me so much about being a man and a dad. Sure there are frustrating days, but laying with him at bedtime, reading a story, closing the book and looking in his eyes to hear "ni-ni daddy" make this whole thing so worthwhile, and more!! I couldn't be more lucky to have a son like O, and now a daughter like Miss E. Perfect!! To say I am a lucky man is an understatement. A beautiful, loving wife and two amazing kids make me a very, happy daddy!


Now, onto the weekly segment. Learning with the O-man is amazing. Each day, I see new things through his eyes and am inspired. From the great (and sometimes frustrating) days of potty training, to the new words he learns every day, brings me to the Word of Wednesday with the O-man. J and I really have no idea where he learns these from, but have had to teach ourselves to watch our tongues, or spell (for now, it's probably only a matter of time) some words when talking about various things. I really find toddler language amazing, we'll chat more about that another time.


Today's Word of Wednesday as brought to you by the O-man is "nuh-uh". I know it isn't really a word, but it is one that J and I are really curious about where he learned it from. Any thoughts? 


Until next time everyone, trust birth.


Yours in fatherhood,
B

Happy International Women's Day

Hello again! My apologies for the extreme delay in writing. To say I have been busy is an understatement, and to say I wouldn't have it any other way is the absolute truth!! First off, Happy International Women's day to all the mom's, sister's, aunts, grandmothers out there! You all truly deserve this day, a day to think about just how special you all are!!


Of late, J and I have been really busy enjoying being parent's of two. Little O-man has truly grown into the role of big brother, and I could not be prouder of him. It seems he has grown so much in the two + months that Baby Girl E has been with us. He loves his little sister! Although I haven't been posting much (I plan to do a bit more!), I have had a ton of thoughts going through my head. A post I am working in is a "second-reality" of what things might be like if midwives and doula's were the only professionals who played a roll in childbirth. Of course, we all know that midwives and doulas can only handle low-risk pregnancies, so the Doctor's would still play a role. But what if giving birth at home, with a trained midwife and doula team, was still the norm? Would there still be negative stigma's attached to this? What if Hollywood or a network tv grabbed on to the idea? I wonder if people's opinion's would change. What do you think?


In going through the pregnancy of our two children, I really realized how little there is out there to support men through the pregnancy. Yes, I know we don't directly experience the physicalness of a pregnancy, but emotionally it is huge on a guy. That is one of the main reasons I started this little support blog, FB and twitter feed, to try and help out my fellow males. I'm always available to chat and have a coffee with any dad (or mom) who just wants to talk to see what goes through the male-brain during a pregnancy. To also help with this, I'm working with a local organization in Saskatoon to help bring a course to the city of bridges that is solely for new and expectant dads. Stay tuned for details by following the blog, FB or twitter!


That's all I have for now! Thanks for reading today.


Trust birth,
B

She's here!

Well folks, I know it has been a while since I have posted, and I appreciate you checking in every now and again. Our daughter finally arrived as an early Christmas present on December 22nd, 2011. Here is the story of her arrival. My next few posts will be about life as a father of two, a 20 month old son and a newborn daughter, followed by, in no particular order, midwifery in Saskatchewan, pregnancy and childbirth in general, the father's role in labour and delivery, and much more. I hope you enjoy hearing about the arrival of our little Baby E!

Trust birth,
B
--

Baby E  arrived into her daddy's hands at 9:45 p.m. on Thursday, December 22nd, 2011 with Midwives Jessica  and Ros  in attendance. She weighed 9lbs 0 oz and was 20 inches long, had beautiful colour and a thick head of dark hair.

On Thursday, J started having mild contractions around mid-afternoon. They were not yet to the point where she had to stop what she was doing, but they were hard enough that she knew they were there. These contractions were also not timeable, and very sporadic. We had a nap with O, and went about our regular afternoon.

Closer to supper, J felt stronger contractions, and they were such that they stopped her talking, or from doing what she was doing. We started timing them, but they were still fairly far apart. After supper, J lay down on the couch because of the contractions, and shortly after, we decided to take the dogs for a walk so she could get her mind off of the contractions...or so we thought! We got O strapped into his stroller and the dogs leashed, and we were off on our walk. A walk that normally would take us about 20 minutes around our neighborhood, took about 45 minutes on December 22nd. During our walk, J had 10 contractions that were about 1 minute long. I didn't have anything with me to keep track of them, so I did a rough estimate in my head when we got back and saw that we were out for 45 minutes, so the contractions must've been about 4 minutes apart – she had 10!

At this point, 7:00 p.m., I could tell J was getting uncomfortable, so I suggested she lay down on the couch while I grabbed a snack for O, and got him ready for bed. During this time, J was having contractions and timing them with my Iphone. On average they lasted about 1 minute, and were still 4 minutes apart. I asked J if she wanted me to call the midwives, and she said “not yet”. Even though she suggested I didn't call them, I made sure she was comfortable, and began to make some phone calls around 7:15 p.m. I had sent a text earlier that day to our doula, who would be looking after O in the house, letting her know what was going on so that when I called her she could get here right away. We all knew it was going to be quick!! Then, I sent a page to Jessica, whom called me back right away, asked how close the contractions were and for how long, how J was, and said she and Ros would be right over. I began to fill the pool at this time.

Very quickly, our birth team began to arrive. Maureen came, chatted with J for a bit then she and O went into the basement to play and watch movies while dad helped mom bring his baby sister into the world. Ros and Jessica arrived shortly after Maureen and greeted J with a smile, asking her if she was doing okay and if she was uncomfortable. J replied “yes” to both questions, and Jessica said that that was what she wanted to hear, it meant things were progressing. The contractions were still strong and of the same frequency, and Jessica did a quick check of Baby E's heart rate and proceeded to set up while I coached J through the contractions. She and Ros ensured the pool was filled and to the right temperature, while J and I moved to our bedroom so she could labour more comfortably, at about 8:00 p.m. We laboured for about an hour in our bedroom, with about 3 checks of the baby and J during that time. The contractions were happening quicker and were very strong in that period of about an hours time, so we moved to the pool.

J said she felt instant relief when she got into the pool around 9:00 p.m. She even looked more relaxed once she got in there, and the contractions, although still strong, seemed more manageable in the water. I helped her through the contractions in the pool for about 40 minutes, when she said she felt like she had to push. With that, baby E was crowning and Jessica guided my hand to her head. What an amazing feeling it was, knowing what was happening, and feeling my baby girls head for the first time. Shortly after, I saw the top half of baby E's face, making eye contact for the first time. It is something that has been etched into my memory forever, like the first time I made eye contact with O-man. It was beautiful, seeing her through the rippling water! In less than five minutes of pushing, J birthed a beautiful baby girl in the water, into my arms. Jessica and I guided the baby under the water, to J's arms, and at 9:45 p.m. baby E took her first breath, and was born in our home. O-man was with us the whole time, and when she was born, he came into the pool with me, and touched his “sisser” on the hand for the first time, establishing what I hope will be an unbreakable bond between brother and sister.

Once again, J was amazing. She truly was made to birth children, and be a mother. We had another beautiful homebirth that we are proud to talk about, and are excited to begin this journey as a family of four with O and Baby E.