Dad Talks

I'm proud to be launching a new feature on my blog that I will call "Dad Talks". This is when I take the opportunity to sit down with a recent new dad and chat with him about his experiences prenatal, during labour and post-natal. I hope that with this feature, expectant and new fathers will be able to see that there are others going through what they are going through and have much of the same feelings and concerns as they. I will post these once a month at first.

Back in June (sorry for the delay posting, I took some time with my family in July), I sat down with Michael Reimer to hear about the birth of his daughter Jayda, born on March 24, 2013.

Dad Talks Round 1 - Michael Reimer, father of Jayda (born 24 March 2013)

Michael, his wife Amy and their daughter Jayda.

1.    Before the birth, what fears did you have surrounding birth? How did those change for you after experiencing the birth?

I wouldn’t say ‘fear’ but I was more anxious regarding on how my role would change in life. I really didn’t know what to expect becoming a dad, and I knew I had to go into it with an open mind.

After the birth, everything seemed so natural. My main focus was the health and wellbeing of my child. I wasn’t focused on myself anymore, but on my family. It’s amazing how quick your focus changes when you have your child born. Once your focus changes, everything else seems to fall into place.

2.    What do you wish someone had told you before the birth of your child? What advice would you give to a first time dad?

Hmm…I am really not too sure about this one. I went into it so open minded, and it all went so smooth, even though my wife delivered 7 weeks early. I really don’t know.

I guess the first thing I would say is go into it with an open mind. I would also tell a first time dad to take it one day at a time, and to focus on what’s best for the family. Once you do that, the hurdles don’t seem as big and the road doesn’t seem so ‘long’…especially when you have a fussy baby. Take it one day at a time. Expect the unexpected.

3.    Which part of the birth did you find to be the most difficult or challenging for you?

The whole time leading up to the birth, my wife was so focused on what she needed to do, but I just had to wait. My wife was in labour for 19 hours and I felt like I wasn’t really needed. I knew my wife needed me there, but its not like I could do much to help the situation. I just had to wait, and be patience…and patience for me is a hard thing. I just had to make sure my wife was doing ok and stay out of the way of the doctors and nurses. I then kept my family updated through the process.

4.    Did you have support during the birth from your guy friends or brother(s)? If so, what was the most supportive? If not, what would have helped you the most?  

No, I didn’t have support during the birth from my guy friends, and frankly, I liked it that way. It was just me and my wife and it was a great bonding experience for the both of us. We both did great. I honestly can’t think of anything that would have helped me more.

5.    How was your interaction with your birth team during the birth? What could have made that better?

The nurse my wife had, was amazing and it was very quiet on the delivery floor that day. Because of that, and the fact my wife was delivering 7 weeks early, we had everyone’s attention and they stayed on top of the situation very well. We certainly have no complaints about our care.

6.    How has the relationship with your partner changed after the birth of your child?

Definitely different. Now there is always a baby attached to us that is in constant need to attention and care every hour. Our attention has now shifted from each other to our child now. We are both playing a support role right now. Down the road, once routines are more established, hopefully our focus can balance out more once again.

7.    Will you describe the emotional/spiritual side of your birth experience from a man's viewpoint?

The birth was very surreal. Observing what was actually happening, so many thoughts are rushing through your mind…and before you know it you are a dad. At that moment I wasn’t sure what to do – shout for joy, stand in awe, panic…but what a miracle God gave us! After the ‘shock’ wore off that’s when your fatherly instinct kicks in and you just marvel and your new child.

8.    What did you do to take care of your new family after the birth of your daughter? (I'm most curious to hear your thoughts on this point because of your experience with having a child in the NICU) What advice do you have for a new dad having to face the event of his child being cared for in the NICU?

Well, I had to go back to work so my wife tackled most of the care during the day. After work I would go straight to the hospital to see them both. We would then come back for supper and then sometimes go back for an evening visit as well. I made a promise to see my daughter AT LEAST once a day no matter how busy I was. It took effort but was certainly well worth it. At home, I just made sure my wife was doing good and gave her the support she needed as well.

For all other dads whose child might be in the NICU, take it one day at a time. The biggest thing during this time is to give your wife all the support she needs. She will be doing most of the ‘work’ especially if she is planning to breastfeed and you have to go back to work. Then together take it one day at a time. It may be 2 steps forward and 1 step back in the NICU, but know that the care in the NICU is what your baby needs, and that is what is best for them. It was really great watching my daughter grow stronger in the NICU and we just kept reminding ourselves that is what was best for her at the time.

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Jayda was home at the time of the interview and is doing great! I want to thank Michael for taking the time to share these thoughts, feelings and experiences with everyone for the inaugural dad talks feature. I hope through these monthly posts, we can get a closer look as to what a dad is feeling and thinking as he begins the greatest journey there is, the journey of Fatherhood.

I welcome your comments on this and any other post! Enjoy the rest of your summer, talk to you next week.

In fatherhood,

Blair

Saska(tchewan) Dads Day Photo Contest Entries

Here they are, some of the great dads in Saskatchewan. Contest closes 15 June at midnight. 

"I think this photo speaks for itself why my husband is the best!"

Jason is a great dad. Always patient with the kids and works super hard to give us a great house and healthy food

Tyson is a journeyman carpenter who works extra hard so I can stay home with the kids. He works long hours but he second he gets home it's nothing but hugs and kisses for his boys. Our 2 year old looks up to him and copy's his every move its so precious to see the love he has for his daddy 

Taron - While I will be the first to admit that my Dad is a pretty awesome man, I would like to submit a second photo of myself with my new baby girl.

Having an amazing Father figure is something I am very thankful and being able to in turn be a Father myself makes it 1000 times better!

Brennan is a great dad because he is always ready to do what is needed. Whether it is a diaper change or bouncing our baby when she is grumpy, he does it with a smile.

This is one of my favorite pics of my husband Stephen learning that changing a diaper needs to be done quickly! 
He took his time and got peed on and then to make the situation worse...he got torpedo pooped on!
I of course offered no comfort but decided to grab the camera!
P.s. He did get better (and quicker) at changing diapers!

Craig is a great father because he is supportive, kind, understanding and patient with me and our son Cooper. This is Craig's first Father's Day. I can't wait to celebrate Craig and his amazing transformation into fatherhood.

Although my husband is a fantastic father to all of his children, this is the most heart warming photo I have ever seen of him. This is him with our youngest who was born at the beginning of May. While pregnant with this little guy in the photo he showed me how amazing of a man he is and has become. While I was sick with 6 months of morning sickness he was attentive and loving with our other kids as well as being strong and supportive to me. When I chose to explore birthing options he at first did not understand but took it upon himself to learn and he became the biggest supporter of me throughout the rest of the pregnancy and my labor. I could not have done it without him.

Although he has a super skill of sleeping through baby cries when I need help he is more then willing to rock kids to sleep, change diapers, build forts, teach the kids to fish, make breakfast and help in any way he can.

This is my amazing husband Tyler. Not only is he an amazing husband but he is the most loving, fun, and caring father I know. The bond that Tyler and Nash have is remarkable. Tyler spends hours playing tag, pick-a-boo, and even will sing just to share a smile and laugh with Nash. Tyler certainly puts Nash before anything Else in the world. He continues to amaze me everyday.

Zone defense

With Roughrider training camp underway in the Bridge City, I thought it was timely to write this. When I teach my monthly dads prenatal class, I sometimes use sports analogies, among others, to make some points or to provide clarity. As I think about it, raising kids is one of the most exciting games you could ever play. A dad gets to be a coach and a player in the lives of his kids, and some of my favorite times with O and E are when we are playing in the park or when I am a horse and O is the farmer. We get to learn every day from the kids and have to figure out new plays when our old ones get figured out or just don't work anymore. J and I have mastered man-to-man defense with O and E, but this November, the month of the 101st Grey Cup, we will need to review our defensive skills and master zone defense as we welcome baby #3. My team is growing, and I couldn't be happier. O is quite excited for the little arrival and Miss E, well I know she'll love being a big sister. 

Here is how we told our families:

Happy Monday everyone! Have a good week.

~ B

Saska(tchewan) Dads Day Photo Contest

Alright, in honour of Father's day it's time to look around the province and find out why the dad in your life is the best with our Saskatchewan Dad's Day Photo contest. Email (bootcamp4newdadssk@gmail.com) your favourite photo of the dad in your life with his kids and tell me why he is such a great dad. Photo's will be uploaded to this page and to Boot Camp for New Dads SK on Facebook for the province to see all of the great dads in our great province. By providing your photo, you are consenting to its use for promotion of the contest and publishing through the mediums above. A random draw will be made on Father's Day from all submissions for a prize. Good luck!

In fatherhood,
Blair

My  kids and I, Dads Day 2012

SK Father Involvement Network

I'm really excited for this new project I am embarking on (with a great group of "advisors", I might add). We are heading on a journey of starting Saskatchewan's own Father Involvement Network. What is it? Who will we serve? Well, I hope to answer those questions right shortly once I write up my report from our first meeting this past Friday.

Stay tuned here for updates as they come in.

In fatherhood,
Blair

So what is Boot Camp for New Dads?

I get this question a lot. People who know me and know what my passion in life is and what I do on evenings and weekends ask, "so what is boot camp for new dads". I explain it as the best opportunity an expectant father has to discover what it is like to be a father, and to see fatherhood up close and personal. While that may be a tad cliché, it is true. At Boot Camp for New Dads SK, we have two groups of dads the expectant fathers (a.k.a. rookies) and the new or fairly new dads (a.k.a. the veterans), and their babies! While I facilitate and steer the discussion, the veteran dads are called on to give their experiences with each discussion topic and the rookies can ask any questions. During the second hour of the 3-hour program, we break into mini groups and the rookies rotate around the veteran dads and babies to ask questions, talk and see fatherhood! This is my favorite part and I enjoy walking around the room, listening in to the different discussions. I always tell the rookies to ask the same question to each veteran and they will not get the same answer twice! As long as I have been doing boot camp, they have never got the same answer. Just like each birth is different for every couple, so too is the fatherhood journey for each dad! The last hour is more discussion and fun! Check out this promo video from Boot Camp for New Dads HQ:

Share this with every expectant dad you know! I look forward to working with them and all the fathers that I see. For registration dates and times, check out the Boot Camp for New Dads SK page on the side of the saskadad site. 

In fatherhood,
Blair

(Saska)tchewan Dad

Okay, so I think I can honestly say I have a lot of learning to do with this blogging thing! I came across a post the other day that talked about blogging and how time consuming it can be if not done right. This couldn't be more true in my case, and I apologize for that. I really want to gain a following, but I know that I cannot do that if I do not update regularly, at least once a week. I also want to do my best to make my blog entertaining, to chronicle my fun adventures as a dad in (presently sub-arctic) Saskatchewan, Canada. 

I've got lots of ideas in my head and on paper (somewhere) for this blog and want to make it a useful resource for Saskatchewan dads, and eventually gather a following across Canada, and maybe even take a trip down south. The daddy blogger is new to a lot of people, but I really enjoy following them and will enjoy even more writing about my time as a dad. The page is called (Saska)tchewan Dad and I hope to provide some fun information for dads and moms about all things fatherhood, using personal stories and anecdotes for whatever I write about. I will likely cover some more sensitive issues that may generate some discussion, and by writing about them, I feel that they need to be talked about in a fair way so that all sides of an issue are heard. If you have any ideas for a topic, please let me know and I will do what I can to write about it. One day, I hope to have an interactive website, where 

Over time, I will include product reviews on the page of a variety of baby and child products. The reviews will be based on my personal opinion however and will be added to perhaps aid you in your decision when you are overwhelmed with everything that is out there for new parents.

Finally, for those of you who don't know, I am also privileged to be a part of the Birth Rhythms team as the Program Coordinator and Coach of Boot Camp for New Dads SK, a unique and interactive prenatal program just for expectant fathers. Check out the Boot Camp for New Dads SK page on this site for information on the program and for registration links!

Keep following, share the page and I look forward to writing about Fatherhood for the families of this great province!

In fatherhood,

Blair

#DADuary 2013 A

Wow! Still really late in my publishing for DADuary 2013. Life is really busy these days, and I wouldn't change it for anything! I write these up in advance (well, except for my usual intros) and then it apparently takes me some time to actually get on her to post them. Anyway, continuing with DADuary 2013, here is my week 3 post. I'm going to try and post week 4 on Saturday, hold me to it!

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R
E
A. Adventure out with the wife and/or family I chose the wife on this one, it had been some time since we have gone out alone.

I write this after a wonderful "date-day" with my lovely wife. After teaching Bootcamp for New Dads this morning, I zoomed home to get some time in with my kids, while excitedly readying myself for our upcoming date. Thanks to my parents for spending the afternoon and part of the evening with the kids!

J and I decided to take in a movie and after taking a look through the listings at Galaxy downtown, we chose Les Misérables. Without going into a formal review (which I plan to do), I will say this production was brilliant. While it was a little long, and some of the singing was questionable, the story felt so real and the acting and singing was phenomenal. Kudos to the director and the cast on this one! We left the theatre still thinking and talking about the tear-jerker of a movie, and deciding we would like to purchase the DVD.

After our movie, we headed over to our favourite all-you-can eat Sushi place downtown, and finished off the evening with our favourite food and some quality time together. When we go out, we do our best to not talk about the kids, but talk about each other. Those of you with kids of your own, know that this can be a challenge, and for the most part we were successful!

I know that J and I will be doing more of these "adventures" in the near-future. Not only are they a lot of fun, but it is really important for two parents to remember that they need to take care of each other as much as their kids, so finding time for one-another is key.

Happy DADuary everyone,
B

#DADuary 2013 E

I didn't get around to publishing week two at the end of last week. My lovely wife works casual in a Nursing home, while running a daycare full-time, and was on night's this weekend. I had a blast hanging out with my kids, while mom slept. We enjoyed some daddy time while we played and cuddled over some movies.

And now, to DADuary...

R
E - Encourage other dads. Do something special for another dad.

I guess this one was easy, since I do it every day. Since starting Bootcamp for New Dads this past June, under the guidance of my colleague Lisa at Birth Rhythms in Saskatoon, I have had the privilege of being able to offer unique father support to new and expecting dads. One day, I'd like to make a career out of helping other dads and families, but for now, it can be my "passion on-the-side". Today, I was able to help an expecting dad and answer some questions for him about fatherhood, labour and delivery, and supporting his wife. I get really excited when I have these conversations and really put a lot of passion into it. After some chatting, I convinced, encouraged rather, him to attend Bootcamp for New Dads and will be seeing him soon.

Also this week, I will be kicking of the 2013 session of Bootcamp for New Dads and helping another group of dads-to-be on their journey towards fatherhood. There is still time to register

goo.gl/fhepm.

Later this week I'll be publishing #DADuary 2013 Week 3 - Adventure out with the wife and/or family. I'll probably have an adventure (a.k.a. Date night sans kids) with just my wife on Friday, maybe dinner and a movie and then adventure with the O-man and Miss E on the weekend, which is what we love to do.

In fatherhood,
B

#DADuary2013

A fellow dad and blogger over at manvdadhood.com is leading a really cool initiative called #DADuary2013, which is an opportunity to not only get excited about being a dad in 2013, but to celebrate all forms of dadhood. See Joe's post here: http://manvdadhood.com/2012/12/27/join-me-for-daduary2013-in-your-own-way/.

This post will cover week 1, as I missed it last week and I will post on week 2 on Friday or Saturday. Here is the basic info for DADuary2013 from manvdadhood.com:

"2013 is a Year to REACH Farther:

I do not believe that as Dads we should strive to be like Moms.  We are different, and that does not mean we are better or worse, but just different.  The idea to reach farther is calling for dads, ALL dads, to be more, and to raise the bar of the Dadhood during DADuary.  Each letter of REACH corresponds to a theme for a week in DADuary:

 R.  Respect the role of Dad – Find value in your position as a Dad.  

E.  Encourage other Dads – Do something special for another Dad.

A.  Adventure out with the wife and/or family – Do something special for your wife, or with your kids.

C.  Connect to other Dads – Find your support group next door or online.

H.  Be a HERO!  Do something special for a child that is not directly yours!"

How cool, eh? Like many of you, the best thing that ever happened to me was becoming a dad. Seeing my kids in the morning, no matter how grumpy or happy they are, gives me the get up and go that I need to get through the day on perhaps only a few hours of sleep. They make me proud to be who I am and to do what I do. They made me decide to create this blog and help other men enjoy fatherhood as much as I do. Spread the word about #DADuary2013, and let's celebrate fatherhood!

R. Respect the role of Dad - Find value in your position as a Dad.

As you know, I am the father of a busy 2 1/2 year old boy and a beautiful 1 year old little girl. Since the day they were born I have valued my position as their father. I also value education, and my position as a Dad is to not only be sure they place value in education academically, but also socially, personally, respectfully, and so on. 

My goal as a Dad of a little boy is to teach him to be proud of who he feels he is. To teach him to respect everyone as he wishes to be respected, especially to respect and love his mother and his sister. To teach him that it is okay to cry, even though he is a boy. I could go on with what I want to teach him as a Dad, but nothing will matter more then what he sees me do each day. I need to teach myself to continue to be a positive role model for him and his sister, to always love his mother and respect her, to show him how to react to negative situations and to show him how I am proud to be who I am, and proud of him. This is the best thing any dad can give to his son and it is a Job I find great honour in being given.

I am blessed with what some call, "the million dollar family" - the father of a boy and a girl. Some new and unique challenges come with being the father of a daughter - challenges that I do not take lightly and challenges that I accept, proudly. My baby girl is so beautiful and I am so proud of her already. I want to teach her much of the same things I want for my son, but most importantly, I want to show and teach her how she DESERVES to be treated as a little girl and a young woman. I will do this by treating her mother in this way, and showing my baby girl how all women deserve and value to be treated. I will also teach her to love herself for who she is, and not let the media decide on how she should look or what she should do. Like I will do with my son, if she chooses to do or play with things that are not "stereotypically" for girls, that is fine. She will not be judged by her mother or I, and if she is judged by others, she will know to not let those things bug her. Everyone has a right to their opinion, and their judgment means nothing. If she is proud of who she is and what she does, than that is all that matters. 

These are huge challenges that I am setting for myself as a Dad, challenges that I look forward to as I raise my children in a sometimes cruel world. I want them to be understanding, respectful of everyone, compassionate, caring individuals who are proud to be who they are and look forward to the new adventures each day brings.

So spread the word and participate in #DADuary 2013 and embrace fatherhood to the fullest!

In fatherhood,
B

Happy Birthday Miss Ezzy!

I have been making a point to write a letter to my kids on their birthday's. My plan is to package them up when they each turn 18 and give them a little booklet of love from their dad.

Here is my first letter to Esmée on her 1st birthday. A little late in getting it published, but here it is.

In fatherhood,
B
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                                              December 22nd, 2012 Your 1st Birthday

Dear Esmée,

Wow, I cannot believe you are 1 already! In just twelve short months you have grown from a teeny little newborn baby girl, into a beautiful little girl that I am so proud of already. From the moment your mom and I found out we were having you, our little girl, I was ecstatic. Every dad wants his own little girl to care for, to watch grow, to respect, to love and to teach how she deserves to be treated. Years away I know, but I want you to grow up to know that you are beautiful no matter what others say. You are beautiful because you are and always will be loved just for being you. 

I enjoy every day with you, watching you learn how to navigate your surroundings in new ways - crawling into trouble, climbing onto things you shouldn't climb on, screaming when Otys touches your dress! All of these things make you my little Miss Ezzy and every time you climb into trouble as a little 1 year old, I chuckle and laugh. My favourite thing to do with you is to have blabbering baby talk conversations with you. I say "ba" and you say "DA-DA!", we blabber in a language that only you and I understand, and I love every minute of it. 

Ezzy, we have only spent a year together, but you have given me so much joy and you and your brother truly make getting up to start each day, such an exciting adventure. I am looking forward to watching you grow even more and developing a bond with you that only a dad and his daughter can have. You are my little blue-eyed beauty, and I am so very proud of you. 

Thanks for being you Miss Ezzy. Happy 1st Birthday.

Love,
Daddy